Jolayne Topolewski

     After 2 years of fighting a sickness, My dearest friend, Jolayne, passed away January 19th, 2013. I miss her so much. I feel that, not only has My heart been broken but also torn out. She is gone and I can't bring her back. She isn't suffering anymore and is at peace this I know. 
    Jo was always worried about me. No matter the time of day if I was having trouble she said come on over. We would do everything together, sometimes just sit and talk, or go out. Either way we had fun. I miss her laugh and her smile but was blessed to hear and see it before she died. She had been sad for so long. 
     I wrote this poem for her while she was in the hospital after she showed me something she had written.  The first part is what she thought of herself. She thought she had become a monster. . I took what she said and tried to look through her eyes. I was able to show her the first draft of the poem the day before she passed. I was revising it when she passed away so she didn't get to see the new verses that I added.
     I love you Jo. They say time heals and it will but there will always be a scar and memories. I can't promise I won't cry every now and then. I will promise, however, to be strong and to live. 

Surrounded by waves of grass,

Of the brightest emerald green,

A grand oval mirror stood

With designs of silver sheen

Cautiously you approach it.

And the image that appears

Is not the one expected

You have lived with through the years.

The swaying grass of beauty

Turns to a landscape of ice

Making it impossible

For you to escape the sight

What figure stands before you

Is hideous to behold.

A grotesque, wretched monster

No story has ever told.

Its bones protruding outwards

Through sickly, sallow skin.

The huge eyes peering at you

Are black as the devil's sin.

Atop the petite gaunt head

The coal hair is falling out.

Creatures like slithery snakes

Enter in through different routes.

I come to stand beside you

To cradle you in my arms.

You are deeply astonished

This monster has done no harm

The sorrowful tears you’ve shed

Through the countless cruel years

Shatter on the icy ground

Freeing soul-destroying fears

You look pleading up at me

Seeking hope to be found

In a friend, a soul sister

Who will forever be bound

Towards the vile mirror

I hasten unfaltering

Face the imagined creature

In your mind you've been keeping

This sickness and This monster

You think you have become

That ravages your body

May never be undone

I strike the silver mirror

Glass shards fall everywhere

Like a million twinkling stars.

The monster no longer there

What now stands before us

Is what has forever been

My friend, a loving sister,

an angel, Jolayne Marie.

Your blue eyes glow with kindness

And worry for your treasured ones.

The arms held out before you

Promises comfort yet to come.

Your delighted cheerful laughter

Could uplift the saddened heart.

You whispered words so peaceful

Making dark shadows depart.

My Jo, your heart and your soul

are more lovely then you know

 I will love you for always

You’re worth more than precious gold